If so, you may be dealing with a narcissist. A narcissist is someone who has an inflated sense of self-importance and ego. They drain your energy and can be very toxic to be around. They will walk all over others to make themselves feel superior. Spotting the signs of a narcissist in your life isn’t always easy, but there are subtle giveaways that will become more apparent over time.
How Do Narcissists Trick You?
You are undoubtedly upset if you find out a narcissist has tricked you. You might be wondering, “How could I have been so naive?” Narcissists are smart and extremely good at manipulating people. So it’s not your fault if you were fooled by one. The following are some common tactics they use to trick and manipulate:
They try to confuse you. They purposely frustrate you until you snap and then act like you’re the bad guy. They wear you down over time until you give in to their demands. They gaslight you until you start questioning your account of events. They make you out to be crazy. They will use your moments of weakness to their advantage. Romantic partners who are narcissists will love bomb you.
What Are Some Things a Narcissist Would Say?
If you want to know whether you have a narcissist in your life, pay attention to their language. They will often make subtle digs at you and talk in a passive-aggressive tone. Though they may seem perfectly charming at first, don’t underestimate how low a narcissist is willing to go to keep you in their control. Remember, they don’t care about your feelings; they only care about manipulating you. Watch out for the following things covert narcissists say to control and manipulate you:
I’m sorry you feel that way. You’re crazy. You’re overreacting. It’s not all about you. You’re too sensitive. You are jealous/insecure/have trust issues. You’ll never find someone else like me.
15 Weird Things Narcissists Do To Control And Manipulate (or Just Be Irritating)
Narcissists are not always easy to identify. In fact, they often seem very likable at first until their mask starts to slip. Pay attention to these weird things narcissists do if you have suspicions about someone in your life.
1. Take over conversations
Narcissists tend to take over conversations. This is because they are only worried about themselves and don’t care about what you have to say. Talking with a narcissist will feel very one-sided, and you may find yourself listening to a long-winded monologue. Whenever you bring up an accomplishment or something good that happened to you, they will try to one-up you and turn the conversation back to them.
2. Hold you to a different standard
Watch out for narcissist double standards. Because they are often huge hypocrites, they will hold you to a high standard. However, if you try to hold them to those same standards, they get angry and throw a fit. They believe they should be able to act in any way they please, but it’s unacceptable for you to do the same.
3. Ignore and cross your boundaries
Narcissists lack empathy and will have no problem repeatedly crossing your boundaries. They feel entitled, and if your boundary doesn’t serve them in any way, they see no reason at all to respect it. Some will blatantly trample your boundaries, while others will conveniently “forget” to throw you off the scent of their bad behavior.
4. Narcissist weird eating habits
Covert narcissists often have strange eating habits that may have you scratching your head in confusion. Maybe they are an extremely picky eater and use this to control which restaurants you eat at. They may use their preferences to try and police what you eat and when.
5. Everything is always your fault
When it comes to narcissists, they believe they are perfect, and nothing is ever their fault. Even if it seems blatantly obvious that they are at fault, they will find some way to shift the blame onto you. Anything that inconveniences them will be your fault in their mind. Even something as simple as bad weather can cause a narcissist to turn on you.
6. Pretend like they know everything
Narcissists often pretend like they know everything. They like to feel superior, and pretending to have all the answers gives them the upper hand in conversations. They get off by making you feel inferior and will never hesitate at the opportunity to make you appear dumb.
7. Demand attention and validation
A narcissist will demand all of your attention. This is because they have huge egos and thrive on receiving validation from others. They can be excessively needy at times, and if you don’t give them the attention they desire, they become mean or throw a tantrum to get you to comply.
8. Project their behaviors onto you
Narcissists will often project their bad behaviors onto you. If your narcissistic partner is cheating on you, they will accuse you of being unfaithful. Similarly, narcissists who constantly lie will try to frame the people in their life as liars. Deep down, they know what they are capable of, so they think other people are capable of doing the same.
9. Deflect issues
Deflection is one of a narcissist’s best tools to manipulate you. When you bring up something they did that hurt you, they will twist the situation, so they don’t have to take accountability. For example, if you are with a narcissist cheater and confront them, they might ask why you were snooping on them. Essentially, they will change the subject as a way to distract you from their wrongdoings. 11 Ways To Respond To A Text From A Narcissist 15 Top Warning Signs Of A Self-Centered and Self-Absorbed Person 27 Of The Most Glaring Traits Of A Female Narcissist
10. Tell sob stories to tug at your heartstrings
Whenever confronted with their behavior, narcissists love to tell you sob stories as a way to distract you. They think if they can tug at your heartstrings, maybe you’ll start to feel bad for them and drop the issue. Forcing you to pity them is just one of the weird and twisted ways that a narcissist will use to keep you in their control.
11. Do things that prevent you from relaxing
This is one of those things narcissists do that is just plain irritating. Maybe they seem to only start arguments late at night, right before you plan to go to sleep. If you appear calm and relaxed, they barge in with an irrelevant issue that seems like nothing, yet they are determined to hash it out right that second.
12. Give you the silent treatment
Instead of arguing with you, they will give you the silent treatment. This is a narcissist’s way of trying to get you to give up on resolving an issue. They use silence to punish you when you don’t do things the way they want. Eventually, you’ll become tired of being ignored and cave to their demands.
13. Devalue your accomplishments
A narcissist will always want to feel superior over you, so they will do everything in their power to make sure you know you are beneath them. They will devalue your accomplishments and compare them to things they have achieved. As harsh as it sounds, they enjoy putting you down and making you feel like you’re not valuable. No matter what it is, a narcissist will always try and one-up you.
14. Dismiss your concerns
Pay attention to the things narcissists say in an argument. They often dismiss your concerns, saying things like, “Why are you making such a big deal out of this?” This dismissive attitude allows them to keep you in their control. By making you feel as if things are unimportant and not worth being addressed, they can eventually silence you.
15. Humiliate you publicly
Because narcissists believe they are superior to everyone, including you, they get a twisted joy out of humiliating you publicly. Maybe they put you down in front of your friends or make rude and embarrassing comments about you in the presence of family members. If a narcissist has tricked you, know that it isn’t your fault. They aren’t always easy to identify, but these behaviors will help you determine whether you are being manipulated or controlled in any of your relationships. Pay close attention to their language, and don’t be afraid to remove a narcissist from your life if necessary.
