Q: How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck? A: When you pull her pants down, her ass is still in them
Q: What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common? A: By the time you’re finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
Q: Why doesn’t Mexico have an Olympic team? A: Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.
Q: Why is being in the military like a blow-job? A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
Q: What do you call a ninety-year-old man who can still masturbate? A: Miracle Whip.
Q: What has got two legs and bleeds? A: Half a dog!
Q: What do you call an Afghan virgin A: Never bin laid on
Q: Why is Santa so jolly? A: Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Q: How do you get a nun pregnant? A: Dress her up as an altar boy.
Q: Did you hear about the guy who ran infront of the bus? A: He got tired
Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist? A: By becoming a ventriloquist!
Q: How do you get tickets to the Tampon 100? A: Pull some strings.
Q: Why are crippled people always picked on? A: Because they can’t stand up for themselves
Q: Whats the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: Putting her back in the wheelchair when you’re done…
Q: Why doesn’t a chicken wear pants? A: Because his pecker is on his head!
Q: Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? A: He needed to get to the bottom!
Q: What did the penis say to the condom? A: Cover me I’m going in!
Q: What’s worse than spiders on your piano? A: Crabs on your organ.
Q: Why did the Mafia cross the road? A: Forget about it.
Q: What did the Alabama sheriff call the black guy who had been shot 15 times? A: Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.
Q: What kind of bees produce milk? A: Boobies
Q: What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? A: Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.
Q: Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? A: They don’t have balls to scratch.
Q: What does a 75-year-old woman have between her breasts that a 25-year-old doesn’t? A: Her navel.
Q: What does a good bar and a good woman have in common? A: Liquor in the front and poker in the back!
Q: Why does the Easter Bunny hide Easter eggs? A: He doesn’t want anyone knowing he’s been fucking the chickens!
Q: What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic? A: Halfway
Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist? A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
Q: What do u call a bunny with a bent dick? A: Fucks Funny
Q: What is the difference between oral and anal sex? A: Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak.
Q: Whats the best thing about an 18-year-old girl in the shower? A: Slick her hair back she looks 15.
Q: What’s strong enough for a man but made for a woman? A: The back of my hand.
Q: What does a gangbanger have in common with a soda machine? A: They both don’t work and always take your money.
Q: Why are there only two pallbearers at a homeless guys funeral? A: There are only two handles on a garbage can.
Q: How do they say “fuck you” in Los Angeles? A: Trust me.
Q: What do bread and autistic kids have in common? A: They both have special needs
Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator? A: Why are YOU shaking? She’s going to eat me
Q; Whats the difference between the Florida State football team and a Florida State cheerleader? A: They both suck for four quarters.
Q: What is a crack head’s favorite song? A: I wanna rock!
Q: How do you get retards out of a tree? A: Wave to them!
Q: What do you call a gang banger behind bars? A: Anything you want.
42. Q; What’s the difference between a rabbi and a priest? A: A rabbi cuts them off; A priest sucks them off
Q: What is Superman’s greatest weakness? A: A bucking horse.
Q: Why did Hitler commit suicide? A: He got the gas bill.
Q: What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection? A: A Quarter Ponder with Cheese.
Q: What do priests and Mcdonalds have in common? A: They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns
Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly? A: Kick his sister in the jaw.
Q: What’s sicker than a pile of dead babies? A: The one alive in the middle chewing it’s way out.
Q: How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? A: Pick him up and suck on his cock!
Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist? A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
Q: What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah? A: About three inches.
Q: What is the difference between erotic and kinky? A: Erotic is using a feather….kinky is using the whole chicken.
Q: When does a cub become a boy scout? A: When he eats his first Brownie.
Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? A: Wiped his ass.
Q: Why do men get their great ideas in bed? A: Because they’re plugged into a genius!
Q: What’s the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? A: One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.
Q: How many Emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
Q: How man Sorority girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two, One to screw it in, and one to take a picture.
Q: How do you kill a retard? A: Give him a knife and say “Who’s special?”
Q: Why did God give men penises? A: So they’d have at least one way to shut a woman up.
Q: What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A: A lickalotopis
Q.When do you kick a dwarf in the balls? A.When he is standing next to your miss saying her hair smells nice
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A: You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough.
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis, her mom said you should have asked me last night it was at the tip of my tongue.
Q: What do hockey players and Surrey girls have in common? A: They both only change their pads after every third period!
Q: What do you call a bookworm who gets eaten by a cannibal? A: “Reader’s Digest.”
Q: Why do dwarfs laugh when they play soccer? A: The grass tickles their balls
Q: What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown? A: A cheater, cheater, woman beater.
Q: What is pink, goes in hard and dry and comes out soft and wet? A: Bubble Gum.
