Maybe she dumped you, or you did the dirty deed in your “un-infinite” wisdom. Whichever the case, you’ve realized it was a huge mistake. You miss everything about her — including the “annoying” things — and wonder how to get her back. Thankfully, you’ve landed in the right spot. Because today, we’re breaking down 19 tips for winning her heart back. So pull up a seat, and let’s get to work!
How to Get Your Ex-Girlfriend Back: 19 Actions to Win Her Heart Again
You’re miserable and need advice on how to win your ex-girlfriend back. Well, we’ve got answers! We can’t promise that our 19-step plan will work. After all, there are no silver bullets in the game of love. However, it works for many people — and it’s a much better roadmap than stalking or other dim-witted tactics, like trying to make her jealous.
1. Give It Some Time
If you’re serious about re-establishing a long-term, committed relationship, give the separation some time. Who knows, after a few weeks, you may realize that breaking up was the best option. Perhaps your desire to reunite was little more than a case of cold feet about reentering the dating scene. If you still find yourself pining for the one who got away after a month or two, it’s time to activate a plan to win her back.
2. Give Her Some Space
You’ve given the separation some time, but the only thought running through your head is: ”I want her back!” If you’re committed to doing it the right way, the next step is more time and space — for her! If she’s the one who did the breaking up, honor her decision. This is, by far, the most challenging stage. But remember that it could be just that — a stage. Who knows – she may regret her choice in a few weeks, too. So don’t force the issue. Be chill and let things cool off for a while. Give her the space and time she requested.
3. Do Your Own Thing
Have you been putting off a project you’ve been toying with starting? Well, now’s the time to jump in. Not only will it distract you during the “chill out” period, but diving head-first into a project has the added benefit of shifting your mental space. If you need to work on personal flaws that triggered the breakup, switching up your routine can help. We’re not suggesting you quit your job or something equally as drastic. However, it may be time to start that self-challenge you’ve been threatening to try or launch that side business that piqued your interest last year. Heck, it could even be something as small as finally reading that book collecting dust on your shelf or signing up for a gym membership.
4. Reflect on the Bad
While you’re cooling off, reflect on the relationship and what you could have done differently. During this period, don’t fall into the finger-pointing trap. It’s very common but ultimately destructive. If you want to reunite, accept that you must embrace your lady as she is, flaws and all — because we all have them. And yes, sometimes, life is unfair, and we must fix things about ourselves while giving grace and a wide berth to others. That’s just the way the game of love works.
5. Re-Friend Her on Social Media
Did you block or unfriend her on social media in a fit of high dudgeon when things ended? If so, it’s time to “refriend” and unblock. If she doesn’t accept, accept your fate and move on. There’s nothing you can do if she doesn’t want to be with you anymore. However, if she does accept you back into her online circle, take it as a good sign! You’re on your way!
6. Refrain From Drunk Texting
It happens to the best of us. We let our guards down, and drunk texts come spilling out. But if you’re serious about getting back together with your ex-girlfriend, do your best to refrain from sending them! For starters, you may say something crude and rude that you don’t mean. Secondly, it may seem like you’re only in it for a booty call. Thirdly, it messes up the reconciliation timeline. If she dumped you because you were drinking and partying too much, this rule should be your guiding light!
7. Build Your Confidence
Part of getting back together involves working on yourself. But remember that she liked you enough to date you in the first place — so you’re halfway there! Confidence is attractive, so cultivate some. Your supply may be depleted since the breakup. However, make sure not to cross the line into the land of hubris. It’s a dangerous place to dwell, and it never looks good on anyone.
8. Drop Some Throwback Posts
If you’ve made it to this point, you’re on civil terms with your ex. She’s welcomed you back to her social media life, and you’ve been chilling out while working on your confidence. The next step is reminding her of the good times. Do this carefully! You don’t want to come across as messy and needy. How do you accomplish that? Post a throwback post on your Instagram, TikTok, or Facebook with her in it. Or comment on one of her posts and reference a good time in your collective past.
9. Keep Your One-Night-Stands on the DL
Nobody needs or expects you to be a celibate saint during the “off” period — unless it has something to do with why you broke up. Safe sex between consenting adults is perfectly acceptable in the 2020s. However, there’s no need to flaunt it. If you’re casually dating someone, keep it on the down-low. And make sure the other person understands that your situationship is fun for you and not heading anywhere serious.
10. Say Sorry (if You Were in the Wrong)
Now it’s time to fess up and say sorry. Of course, if she was the one who did wrong, you can skip this part. Otherwise, it’s time to open up, be vulnerable, and recognize your faults. If you’ve already apologized, do it again! Remember, though, that she doesn’t have to accept your apology. And if that’s the case, this is where you bow out of pursuing her. If she’s responsive, that’s another super sign, and you could be well on your way to reunification. Can A Love Letter Make Him Cry? 45 Heartfelt Messages to Bring Him To Tears 9 Core Differences Between Love And Being In Love 27 Grand Romantic Gestures To Thrill Your Lady
11. Show Her You’ve Changed
After you’ve apologized, it’s time to prove that you’ve made strides. Be the change she wanted to see — and make sure it’s in view! We’re not suggesting you show up at her doorstep unannounced, but use social media and any other communication avenues you share to get the point across.
12. Don’t Enlist Her Friends (if They’re Not Your Friends)
If you have the same friend group, it’s fine to drop hints to your buddies that you’d love to get back together. However, don’t seek them out if you usually don’t chat with them. It can come across as creepy. Instead, be mature and direct. Take your case directly to your ex.
13. Become Friends Again
The next step in the reconciliation plan is becoming bona fide friends again. Start small with group activities. It relieves any pressure — on both sides — while allowing you to remember what it feels like to hang out with each other. Put your best foot forward. Spruce yourself up, be charming, and don’t smother her on the first outing. The goal is to be approachable but not overbearing.
14. Ask Her to Hang Out Alone
Once you’re hanging out in group situations again, it’s time to test the waters and ask her if she wants to do something alone. It doesn’t have to be a date, but make sure it’s something that will allow the two of you to talk and laugh. Maybe grab lunch or go for a bike ride. Make it something casual. You can also play the “I need a date” card. But don’t pressure her if you go this route. Again, this step is all about being easy and breezy.
15. Get Her a Small Gift
There’s no need to spend a lot of money, but pick something up for her that’s sentimental — a token that says “I still think about you.” We cannot stress enough that this shouldn’t be something extravagant. The point is to establish emotional intimacy instead of trying to repurchase someone’s love.
16. Be Honest With Yourself About Her Signals
At this point, she’ll be sending out signals. Pay attention and respect them. If she’s made it crystal clear that she just wants to remain friends, don’t push it. Who knows, maybe she needs more time. Perhaps in a month or two, you can try again. But you’ll lose that chance if you try to force her hand.
17. Let Her Know You’re Still Interested
The time has come to let her know that you’re still interested in having a relationship. And truth be told, if she’s hanging out with you and accepting gifts, she’s probably warm to the idea, too. So be up-front and frank. There’s no need to dance around the topic at this point.
18. Formally Ask
Now it’s time to formally “pop the question.” No, you shouldn’t ask her to marry you. This is about getting back together, not tying the knot. Don’t go overboard! If you’ve gotten this far, and she hasn’t spurned your advances, she’s likely to say yes to a reconciliation, but don’t count on it. Remember that the most important thing is respecting her wishes.
19. Understand That It’s a Fresh Start
Congrats! She said yes, and you’re back together. There’s still one more step: don’t fall back on your laurels and continue where you dropped off. This is a fresh start — a new relationship. Failing to understand this could land you right back where you were at step one. Implement the changes you’ve made, and work hard not to fall back into your old ways.
Common Questions About Getting Her Back in Your Life
You’re searching for tips for how to win your ex-girlfriend back. The first thing to understand is that every case and each couple is different, and your exact situation will determine your ex’s openness when it comes to reconciliation. If she walked in on you having sex with her best friend, let’s face it, your chances of winning her back are between slim and none. But if your breakup was less dramatic, you may have a good shot!
Do ex-girlfriends ever come back?
There’s a good chance your ex-girlfriend will come back. About 50% of separating couples reconcile at least once after separating. Those are great odds.
What can I say to my ex-girlfriend to get her back?
The key is to be genuine. Empty platitudes won’t get you very far with someone who is “real.” If you’re genuinely sorry about something you did, be precise and honest about what went wrong and your role in steering the situation. Why was it wrong? How did you end up there? And most importantly, what’s your plan to refrain from continuing the offensive behavior in the future? Below, we’ll explore specific examples of what you can say and do to win back your girlfriend.
How do you make your ex want you back?
Again, the key is authenticity. If you did something wrong, show her that you’re remorseful. Stalking and being overly aggressive is not the way. That just turns people off. Be cool. Be calm. Be collected — and follow our 19-step plan for getting her back, which we’ve outlined below.
How do I get my ex-girlfriend back who lost feelings for me?
Did your girlfriend simply lose, as The Righteous Brothers once said, “that loving feeling?” If so, it may be temporary. After all, couples that break up get back together half the time. Keep reading for tips about exactly what to do to win back your ex-girlfriend. We hope you found our tips on how to get back with your ex-girlfriend useful. Remember that authenticity does a lot of the heavy lifting during the reconciliation process — and being an overly aggressive creeper won’t get you anywhere 99.999% of the time. Don’t listen to the “man-casts” on this one; most women aren’t won over by men acting childish and forceful. Being genuine, respectful, and thoughtful, however, almost always works. Good luck!
